Ode to my Traffic Fighter

If your dog eats an entire wheel of cheese you should not be mad you should be impressed. If you are me and your stuck in world reknown Bangkok traffic on a Friday night you are not mad you are livid. Luckily, I had someone on my side.

Traffic in Bangkok is special because there are only six lanes painted on the highway but drivers have discovered that if you ignore the lanes you can fit between 9 and 11 lanes depending on the width of cars and the amount of knowledge each driver has about the exact specifications of their vehicle.

My driver was the finest on the road. He drove our fifteen passenger van like it was a sedan. He drove that sedan like it was a motorcyle that he drove like a small bicycle. What I mean to say is he fit this thing through some incredibly small openings. Even though he wore a Spiderman shirt he reminded me more of Bobby Fisher, seeing the traffic evolve tens of moves ahead. He knew when to relax and when to perk up. Using his horn gently but assertively he moved through the stand still with ease and when I glanced at his reflection he looked confident and even happy that he had this slight challenge facing him. I closed my eyes and meditated on how he became so skilled. In an instant the truth washed over me like a waterfall of truthiness.

In his past life he had been a bird. A traveler who was able to examine traffic patterns from the sky. A connoisseur of people congetsion he flew to Bombay, Los Angelos and Rome studying the worlds most overpopulated roads. It was when he arrived in Bangkok though that he met his true calling and the rest of his reincarnations were history. He was where he was meant to be.

I know that my subtle commentary has not even skimmed the surface of the talent which my driver possessed so let me just say this: If I had been driving by the time we got there we would still be driving.